The Most Mid and Average Set Review Show

This work is a parody and is not associated with or endorsed by the original creators or owners of the subject matter.

DAL/W131-037RR 身も心も捧げて 狂三

日本語上手: I have a confession to make.

WeissMaster6969: Go ahead.

日本語上手: So I want to say that this card reminds me of my old girlfriend.

WeissMaster6969: Really, how so?

日本語上手: I also had a tragic backstory that involves a girl just like Kurumi, you see.

WeissMaster6969: You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.

日本語上手: I was six years old, and she was like six years old too. I remember we were under a bridge together. I reached for her hand while my face was covered in the dirt that we had been rolling around in. I told her that on Monday, when we went back to school, she can eat the grape crayon first.

Jake from State Farm: Damn, I don’t get the tragedy.

日本語上手: Well, she’s married now. To me.

Jake from State Farm: Unfortunate.

DAL/W99-048C 言わない約束 七罪

Jake from State Farm: I don’t know how I feel about this card.

WeissMaster6969: Would you say it’s too vanilla?

Jake from State Farm: No, I’m more of a chocolate lover myself.

日本語上手: I think Neopolitan is better; you get the best of three worlds.

WeissMaster6969: It’d be more playable if it was at least cookie dough or rocky road.

DAL/W131-069R コスプレメイド 二亜

日本語上手: 妈妈,回去睡觉吧,我正在和孩子们一起玩网络游戏.

WeissMaster6969: I agree, a solid 80/100.

Jake from State Farm: No, I think it’s more of 4/5.

WeissMaster6969: No, 80/100 isn’t the same as 4/5.

Jake from State Farm: Look, if you divide 80/100 by common multipliers, you actually reach the conclusion of 4/5.

WeissMaster6969: Nuh uh, I asked GetIt, and when I gave them the math you suggested, it turned into 6.94^10^8.

DAL/W131-016S-SR 皆の心のオアシス 四糸乃

Jake from State Farm: I’m going to go ahead and give this card a seven.

日本語上手: I’m pretty sure she’s twelve.

WeissMaster6969: Feels more like nine.

Jake from State Farm: I mean, if you look at the card, it’s like obvious that she’s between seven to ten. I think I’m okay with giving her a nine.

日本語上手: No, I think she’s canonically twelve.

WeissMaster6969: No, she’s 4″7′.

DAL/W131-024U マイナススパイラル 七罪

日本語上手: This card gains minus one level in hand if your opponent controls a level three or higher character on stage. During your turn, if all your characters are Date or Spirit trait, she gains 2000 power for the turn. When she’s played from hand to stage, you draw two cards, choose two cards in hand and send them to waiting room, and then perform the following effect: [Choose a level one or higher character on your opponent’s stage and they exchange that card with a character that is one level lower].

WeissMaster6969: It’s a green card.

Jake from State Farm: It’s a level three card with two stock cost and two soul. It has a soul icon. Great analysis team, let’s move on.

DAL/W131-035S-SR “〈封解主〉”六喰

Jake from State Farm: I’ve seen this type of card before.

WeissMaster6969: Oh really?

Jake from State Farm: Yeah, it’s called a “female.” I’ve heard of them in real life. I think they’re also in that NIKKE set.

WeissMaster6969: Oh, if that’s the case, check out my post for NIKKE.

DAL/W131-005SP-SP 仲良し姉妹 夕弦

WeissMaster6969: This is a card.

Jake from State Farm: I agree.

日本語上手: I agree.

WeissMaster6969: Playable.

DAL/W131-014CR 〈フラクシナス〉の切り札

日本語上手: I don’t know how I feel about this card. I don’t really know if I should put it in my deck.

WeissMaster6969: I wouldn’t see myself playing these cards. They ruin my gameplay quite often and flood my hand.

Jake from State Farm: Absolutely agree. Useless profile. We should just stop running these sideways cards. Like new players constantly fall into this trap where they place eight of these in their decks. You know you can just play none and you’ll just never whiff any check abilities.

日本語上手: I agree. It’s insane. Like why would anyone put these bricks into their decks. They don’t even serve any purpose. I wouldn’t include this type of card in any of my decks.

DAL/W79-T07TD デェト当日 十香

Jake from State Farm: Now this. This is a good card.

WeissMaster6969: I second that. If you compare this to it’s inferior cousin with Natsumi, you can clearly tell that this one is much more playable. Look at the difference in power. This one is just astounding.

日本語上手: I don’t even know why anyone would run 1/0 Natsumi when they can run this card instead. The effects on this card; the flavour of this card, they’re virtually waves above Natsumi.

WeissMaster6969: They’re essentially incomparable. Think about it like this. This card is costless and has no drawback. It is base 5500 power at level one. What does Natsumi have?

日本語上手: Bushiroad needs to re-evaluate their card design process.

WeissMaster6969: I will add that I’ve seen this card profile in other successful sets like Gakuen Idolm@ster or NIKKE.

Jake from State Farm: Now that you say that, I think you’re right. I think all the top series in the game, all meta sets, have some copy of this version of effect in one form or another.

日本語上手: I mean, this card is in like every trial deck, so it must be a good card.

WeissMaster6969: What are your thoughts on these two cards?

日本語上手: I feel like the card on the left is just stronger. If you compare their powers, you can already tell that the card on the left is far more efficient in terms of stock use.

Jake from State Farm: I think the card on the right is better if you were to consider the current meta matchups. It even has a soul icon, making it a potential card to side with. I think the cost of the card on the right is under-costed compared to that of the card on the left.

日本語上手: What do you think about the deck speed comparison of these cards?

WeissMaster6969: The left one has more deck speed, but I think the right card can slot well into decks depending on the local meta of course.

DAL/W131-059U 封印されていた【六の弾】

Jake from State Farm: This card is rather niche, but I think you can fit this card in red decks.

日本語上手: I don’t think this card fits well in red decks at all actually. I think it works better in blue decks.

WeissMaster6969: I agree, but I also disagree; this should be an auto-include in purple decks.

VG/SPR-001PR 先導 アイチ

日本語上手: Solid 115/245.

Jake from State Farm: No, this is a Tier SSSAXXX+ card.

日本語上手: That’s actually such a poor metric if you think about the capabilities of this card. I think you are doubting the potential that this card brings with interaction and displacement. This is obviously a three star rating out of five.

Jake from State Farm: That’s nowhere close to the respective power level of such an exquisite profile. I’m more than certain that this is either a green smiley face or maybe even PG-13.

WeissMaster6969: Both of you are making zero sense here. What you two are describing are completely arbitrary systems of rating and measurement. There is no basis for any of your claims in regard to how to evaluate any individual card. There is no scaling because there is no representative sample for what is considered as exemplars for each rating system. Generally speaking, without any real structure in place, your star system or number system is just a collection of random numerical values that are poorly compared with a general scale from 1-10 which does nothing to provide any real value in terms of systematic purpose. And that is why I think this card is actually five bananas, four papayas, and a basket of chocolate-chip cookies baked by my granny.

Jake from State Farm: Fair enough.

日本語上手: I’d say that’s a good rating.

DAL/W131-009U 甘く危険な二重奏 耶倶矢&夕弦

Jake from State Farm: I’ve seen this card before. I think it was at my local Gwendy’s as part of a five dollar meal.

日本語上手: There’s no way. This card would never be featured at a Gwendy’s. This is more of a Dairy King card. I mean, take a look at it. It screams soft-serve.

WeissMaster6969: I think I can provide a more rational and objective review of this card. Firstly, I took a test copy of this card and compared it to my table to check for any buoyancy. From my initial tests, the right side felt a bit more curved than the left. I also looked at the texturing of the card itself; overall, the card is rather uniform for the most part. The colouring is up to expectations. Now, after the card passed the physical test, we had to perform the taste part. Overall, it wasn’t bad, but I wouldn’t say it was particularly good either. It had a light chew, but it was just mediocre at best. It was lacking any seasoning whatsoever. Maybe after one or two salty games, it would taste better. I wrote my review on Help! and gave it a three star out of five. I probably wouldn’t visit again unless I was desperate.

日本語上手: Fair enough.

Jake from State Farm: That’s quite an objective review. My Ogle review gives it a two eyes out of two. But who trusts Ogle Reviews anyways? They’re written by bots.

DAL/W131-019S-SR 純白の契り 折紙

日本語上手: So when I first looked at this card, it felt pretty good. It does come out a bit late with such a high CMC cost, but if you fulfill its conditions, it can really snowball into the late game.

Jake from State Farm: I feel this card is kind of mid. I mean, you’re casting this on turn three, right? By then, your opponent’s will likely already set-up their board. Like you know the guy on your right will have his Esper Sentinel on board. The guy in front of you has Ragavan. And the person holding up one white mana is going to Mana Tithe you.

WeissMaster6969: I just feel like this card could fit in well with my Changeling sub-theme. Its creature typing is rather unique, but I mean, anything pretty much goes with Changelings.

Jake from State Farm: I mean, this card doesn’t even have shroud or ward. How is a card like this expected to survive a full turn cycle in such an interaction heavy meta?

日本語上手: To add to that, this card dies to Doom Blade.

WeissMaster6969: Maybe I should just look at Yuriko builds instead. Maybe we’ll get more support next year with some more Secret Lairs. It’s at least standard playable.